One of the most powerful aspects of human nature; forgiving is now needed more than ever. As countries wage war, trade wars continue to escalate, political opponents continue to fight and demagogues are on the rise in many countries, there will be reconciling to do when the dust settles.
Forgiveness is often misunderstood, considered a sign of weakness by warlords and criminals. Yet it is often a sign of ultimate inner strength. It literally means “to stop feeling angry or resentful towards someone for an offence.”.
This doesn’t mean that you let the others go on with (or even get away with) the offense. It also doesn’t mean that you push down your anger and put a fake smile on. Rather it means that you genuinely let go of anger and plan your next steps level headed, rather than guided by emotion.
The best generals don’t win wars by getting angry. And the best CEO’s don’t outperform their rival by sentiments induced by their competitive counterpart. They succeed because they think straight and free from emotion. Where emotion arises, they analyse it, understand it, they accept it without judgement, and then they let go of it. They don’t get frustrated about emotion arising, as they understand it is part of human nature. But they realize that they HAVE emotions, rather then that they ARE emotion.
Forgiveness if first of all a gift to yourself; anger is suffering, so letting go of anger makes you happy. It gives you a chance to move on. A famous story of two monks illustrates this: two monks are travelling the land on foot. One is old and wise, the other young and eager. Arriving at a stream that they have to cross, they see a beautiful lady in a nice dress. The lady asked the monks if one of them would so kinds as to carry her across, since she doesn’t want to ruin her silk dress in the river water. The young monk is insulted as it is against the rules for a monk to touch a woman. The old monk doesn’t say anything, but take the woman on his back and carries her across. After this the two monks continue their way, not speaking for a long time, until the young monk cannot take it any longer. He shouts to the old monk in anger; “how could you break the rules by touching that woman”. The old monk answers “are you still carrying that woman around? I have put her down hours ago.”.
Forgiveness is also a gift to others: it is incredibly humbling and inspiring to be forgiven by someone. Therefore, to forgive someone, often brings about positive change in your surroundings. It can turn a negative spiral into a positive one and create a profound positive ripple effect.
The most powerful gift however, is forgiving yourself. Too many people carry a sense of guilt around for something they may have said or done years ago. And being caught in a sense of guilt is like being caught in the past. You can never see the present day clearly, and therefore you make more mistakes, for which you can then feel guilty again. It never stops.
So after you finish reading this short article, look over your shoulder, and ask yourselves “what am I carrying around?” and put that load down. You’ll be surprised how much weight has been on your shoulders.
Original Article Posted on LinkedIn HERE.
